Bless Me

Dear Linda Fromouttatown,

I heartily apologise for emptying the entire contents of my left nostril directly into your face. I know you were only admiring my soft, velvety, grey nose. But when Brita showed you how irrestistably kissable it was, I got a tickle. In fact, I think she might have infected me with the sniffles she had last week. I'm glad she had a mostly clean tissue in her pocket to help you round up the chunks. I hope you won't hold it against me and will come back to visit soon. I haven't seen you all afternoon, and you were around a lot for the past week, so I imagine you've gone back to Georgia where cold and flu season is a few weeks behind. Really, in the future, you shouldn't get that close to a guy's nose. Murphy's Law will certainly take over.

Sincerely,
William Pendleton Grey Esq.