Thursday, June 24, 2010

Under Attack

There is something trying to get into the barn and eat me. I don't think that closing the doors and windows will help because it's trying to come right through the wall. It's creeping me out. And it's elusive. I sent Brita out to try to get a good look at it, and like most unidentifiable monsters, it refuses to be photographed. I think it may be related to Big Foot .

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Wet Saddle Pads

Whoever said that the best way to train a horse was a lot of wet saddle pads was a big meanie. Brita set out today to ride me until I got tired. She managed to ride me until I was sweaty and itchy and thirsty and cranky. I could have gone longer, but I didn't want to. We did ride until Brita got tired. I sweated so much my coat turned almost blue. Actually it wasn't that bad. We didn't see any flies, but I got really itchy by the time we got home and had to keep stopping to rub my face. As soon as my bridle was off I got some big, cold, juicy stalks of celery which were so refreshing. Then I got a nice warm bath and a fan, and I grazed in the breeze for awhile. I guess I'm not that cranky about it any more. But I WAS.

How do you like my new hat? It keeps the bugs out of my ears. The ears are too big, but we can fix that. I have shapely little Saddlebred ears. Not big muley ears.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Lazy Hazy Grazy Dayz of Summer

When it's 80+ degrees at 10 in the morning. And your rider can't bring herself to put on boots. So she shows up at the barn in short pants and flip flops.... you know not much constructive is going to get done.

And look....

It's Strawberry season again!

Monday, June 7, 2010

Prepare for Takeoff

An alarming new piece of equipment has arrived at the barn. Actually, there are two. They’re related to a helicopter, or maybe a prop plane. You can practically feel the energy they generate when they’re preparing for take-off. The most worrisome part is that they are both aimed right at me. Thankfully, only the one across the aisle seems to be active. The one behind me in the cross ties hasn’t made a sound, so I’ve mostly ignored it. Is it looking at me? It is, isn't it?

I was OK with the wind maker at first, but when we came back in from riding, it went faster, and created more wind, and I was literally blowing around in it. I could barely control my hind end. First it blew to the left, and then it blew all the way over to the right, and back again. I felt like a whirly-gig. The funny part was that Brita was trying to braid my tail at the time, and she was dangling around back there like the tail of a kite. This made her cranky, so she went over and fixed the windmaker so it was a little quieter, and didn’t make as much wind, and I was able to stand still finally.

Training note of the week:

When cantering, always make sure you are rounding your back and using all your muscles. This may be a little difficult for your rider, but they will be just fine, although they may not be able to sit as pretty as they would like.

Round boundy canters are more fun for the rider anyway, because everyone enjoys a challenge. Don't forget to bounce your butt up...

But this roundness and bouncing might cause your saddle to creep up around your shoulders and armpits which is uncomfortable. When that happens, blame your rider and threaten to dump the whole package in the sand. Sounds effects like that of a rodeo bronc will help drive home your point.

Afterall, you were just doing what you were supposed to. It’s not your fault if stuff gets out of place and pinches. It is totally your rider's fault and she should be held accountable.

If she's still aboard, finish up with a nice workmanlike trot to let her know there are no hard feelings.