Attack of the Dirt Devil

I had the most unexpected experience today. Seeing as how I am a grey horse, and it is mid winter with shedding season fast approaching, it seems as though my human is getting desperate to figure out ways to keep my coat in order. She said that "desperate times call for desperate measures."

Now I realise that the new sand in the arena does pose a bit of a hygiene problem (for her not me), but I think we may have gone a step too far. Today she produced a box with an odd little contraption in it. It was red and shiny, and the worst part was that it had a long cord. I am vary wary about things with cords. Not so much because they are noisy, but the cords remind me of a snake, and they just look dangerous like they might wrap around my legs and stop me from running....if running were suddenly required.

She plugged that thing into the wall, and it began to make a whiny buzzing noise and puffed right up like a tick. A very very large dangerous sort of tick. Then, and I knew this was coming, she touched me with it.

Well I don't need to tell you that I was horrified. I snorted and blew and got real tall just to let this contraption know that I am a big, dangerous, noble steed, and not to be trifled with.

It buzzed and vibrated and tickled like nothing I've ever felt before. I had the strangest sensation that a cold breeze was creeping through my coat. Brita told me to stop being such a sissy and rubbed me all over with it. I held my ground valiantly except for the time the giant tick monster went for my throat. Then I thought it might be a good time to just sort of ease on out of there and go stand somewhere else. But, in the end I stayed for it all and sort of got used to the weird breezy sensation.

She kept rubbing until she couldn't raise anymore puffs of dust from my rump, and my entire coat was slicked down and headed in the right direction. I admit I felt pretty good afterwards, and I was proud of myself for having kept my wits about me. I got the biggest carrot I've seen in a long while. Then I was turned back out to enjoy the afternoon, and I waited until she had left the barn before I rolled in the sand again.